Man, sometimes I need to give the
"trauma switch" (or should I say "drama switch"?) in my
brain a rest from time to time. So earlier today I was having a particularly
bad day. What really set it off was the ever-looming paper that I had to write
in my US Nat'l Gov't class (two apostrophes... yikes), and then I got another
kick to the face (metaphorically speaking, of course.) I looked at my grade for
my first Physics midterm and was extremely disappointed. I had missed thirty
points. THIRTY POINTS. It was the end of the world. I figured that since there
were 24 questions, all of them must have been worth 5 points or so. Which means
I missed six problems... which was even more frustrating because I had that
accursed "all of a sudden I remember how to do the problem" thing
happen on the way to my next class after I had taken that exam. I divided 90 by
120 to see how I did... and it was a C.
Or so I thought. I later found out
it was actually considered a "B", but of course by then it was too
late and I had already moved past the midterm and suddenly bombarded myself
with all of my frustrations.. most of which were completely unfounded and
irrational. I mentioned that I seem like I have to wait for the things I really
want... which is kinda true (I mean, who doesn't have to wait?), but you know,
why on earth am I waiting for some future event (embarrassingly enough, it was
over video game releases of all things) to magically make me happy when I have
happiness to be seized today? I mean, it hadn't even been Friday for more than
10 hours, and I had already condemned it as one of the worst days ever.
In short, I was like this. (I think
the Kanji means "mope mope mope mope")
But then, thanks to
this...
And to her...
My day became a whole lot better.
So what caused the magic change of
heart? Well, the first picture is a shot of some of my friends from the
mission... many of whom I saw tonight. I had a really awesome opportunity to go
to a mission reunion with my mission president this evening. I had just come
from one of the most stressful days at work I had ever had. I was trying
everything I could to not just scream. I didn't even take a break the whole
time I was there. (Note: Well, I took a break to text some friends like once,
but I did not take an "official work break"). But it turned out okay
because it was pay day! It is always nice to be reminded why I took the dang
job in the first place.
Anyhow, it was so very good to hear
from so many people who are so precious to me. Seeing them succeed, smile, and
be destined for nothing but greatness was really sweet. Sure, I was envious of
the married ones (sigh), but it was still so good to know that we all could
still talk and laugh like not a day had gone by since last we had been
together. Some things never change, like Bullock completely ignoring my
existence, and things like that... but that's okay too.
I guess what really touched me was
seeing President again. I never really had a great relationship with President
Arbizu. I mean, it wasn't BAD by any means, but nonetheless, I was never that
close to him. I was his secretary and just did as he asked me to. But tonight,
when I saw him, he ran up to me and with a familiar yet tender
"compañerito" gave me a great big hug. I felt loved. I really did.
Later, when he was up on the stand speaking some words to us, I felt something
we missionaries rarely felt in the mission; and that was a true, tender, pure
love from President Arbizu. He had so many great things to say to everyone. He
reminded us all that we will be blessed for our service, and that the Lord will
fulfill His promises.
And I believe him.
Also, the second picture is of my
beautiful sister Marianne. I love her so much. When I was having a bad day, she
let me just talk to her for almost 45 minutes straight about everything. After
I had decided I was having the worst day of all time (really, it just chalked
up to me being stupid hard on myself), she let me just talk it out. And you
know, I felt better.
There's really nothing like knowing
you are loved by someone somewhere. Animo!
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