Saturday, December 31, 2011

The New Year is Ending, Let Him Die

Those are actually words to a hymn. I mean, 2011 wasn't so bad that I want it to perish-- alone, unloved, and cast away. Rather, I wanted to take the last few moments I have before New Year's Eve festivities begin (with a sour stomach, I might add) to kind of do a review of the year. So here (in no particular order) are the highlights and low-lights (is that even a word?) of 2011 in the life of Kevin L Neff esquire.*

HIGHLIGHTS
1. Deciding to start going to the Singles' Ward. First, Bluffdale, then Riverton YSA 1st.
2. Finally owning a car. Even if it came at $400 initially, and since then has added up to around $1500 just to get it street legal/functional. Still totally worth it.
3. Starting my new job as a Benefit Advisor at Extend Health, and NOT being laid off at the end of the season.
4. Holy cow, the Nu Chapter of Sigma Gamma Chi. Changed my life. Seriously. I love you guys! Let's do something soon, eh?
5. Participating on the Summit Council, and conducting that keynote speaker meeting. That was so much fun!
6. Going on dates, but I do that every year.
7. Saving Hyrule twice, Koholint once, and making dang good progress on saving it twice more. Pretty much discovering the goodness that is the Legend of Zelda, period.
8. Buying a Nintendo 3DS (remember, this list is in no particular order) and a PS3.
9. Nichijou, Jon Thomas, three-plus months of awesomeness, friendship, and bonding.
10. Jamison and Michelle's wedding.
11. Improving my home teaching.
12. Becoming a part of the Group.
13. Doing nice things for my friends, and being reminded again and again how much I need them.
14. The Singles' Ward campout. That was pretty dang fun.
15. Getting good grades, and generally being pretty awesome.
16. The birth of my newest nephew Zachary, and news of my forthcoming first niece, Cindy! (She WILL be spoiled. Oh yes. She WILL be spoiled.)
17. Helping Eric and Skylee move into their beautiful new house.
18. Playing Gundam Vs. Gundam with my best friend James.
19. Having my whole family together for Christmas.
20. Bro. Schwab's Institute class. So good!
21. Vacation to California for a week!
22. Starting up the whole blogging thing again.
23. Wow, this year was pretty great! There are probably a lot of other fantastic things, but I can't think of them right now. Here's the lowlights.

LOWLIGHTS
1. Four cases of unrequited love/friendship, stupid missed opportunities, one heartbreak, and still being single at years' end.
2. Paying the 1500 plus to get my car to work the way it should. On second thought it still sucks to spend that much.
3. Growing super attached to my first singles' ward, and being told by the General Authorities to switch.
4. Growing super attached to my chapter in the fraternity only to have the General Authorities disband the whole program. (By the way, I'm not bitter about their decision; they were just tough pills to swallow. They always have a reason, and it's always good.)
5. Megaman Legends 3's cancellation.
6. Staying on at Extend Health... but as a Customer Service Rep. And being told that I was "randomly" selected to not be an enroller (that means I can no longer make commissions), and that me getting a promotion was left to a "literal coin toss." Whatever the heck THAT means.
7. Realizing that I have no idea how to get to where I'm supposed to be in life. Again and again.
8. Narrowly avoiding getting called as an Activities Co-Chair/Planner for the Bluffdale Ward/ Nu Chapter (respectively) only to get called as an Assistant Secretary several months later. Much better. Really. (Note: I know this calling is for a reason, and it IS growing on me.)
9. Saying goodbye to Dan and Marie as they went to Georgia. That was hard. Really hard.
10.  That's all I have, really. Hmmm.

Well hey! Looks like the highlights outweigh the lowlights in a big way! I really can't believe that 2011 is over as of tomorrow. I just can't believe how much I did this year. I sure was busy, anyway! Hopefully 2012 can be a great year too. So, to one and all, Happy New Year!

Kevin L Neff

*I actually don't know what esquire means.

Monday, December 19, 2011

The Case for Santa Claus


Kris Kringle. Sinterklaas. Papa Noel. Father Christmas. St. Nicholas. He goes by a multitude of names, but I know him best as Santa Claus. For as long as I can remember, one of the prominent symbols of Christmas, other than the manger scene with the Christ child, has been the bearded, crimson-clad jolly old man himself. As a child, it always filled me with wonder and amazement as I imagined him taking off on cold, snowy Christmas Eve nights to slow the flow of time and visit every good girl and boy in time for Christmas morning.


For every name by which Santa Claus is known are ten or twelve stories and Christmas specials trying to justify and explain his existence. If one were to try and take every story, poem, and song regarding Santa Claus and put them all together as all-inclusive canon, it would truly be maddening and undoubtedly contradictory. Yet, as a testament to his enduring power as a symbol of joy, happiness, and the Christmas spirit, one need not look any further than the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, malls across America and box offices worldwide to know that the symbol of Santa isn't going anywhere soon.

However, in spite of his popularity and power to endure in the hearts and minds of children everywhere, he also has been the target of a lot of criticism. Allegations of all kinds have been made, from the ridiculous "Santa is an anagram of Satan" to the understandably misguided "Santa distracts from the true meaning of Christmas." Many a child has been reduced to tears after being told the "truth" about Santa Claus. Just recently, my sister was asked an open (yet very pointed) question regarding him by a coworker. Asked she, "Why do we lie to our children?" My sister's response was so amazing, I decided to repost it here. After all, in spite of all of the criticism and slander on the good name of Santa Claus, I hereby declare that I do believe in him and so help me my children will also. Thus, after much exposition, I present to you the case for Santa Claus.

1. First of all, Santa Claus is and should be a lesson in selflessness. After all, are we not taught to give without regard for who sees us; to offer alms in secret? Granted, I know that there will be a time when I am the one who is placing presents underneath the tree, filling stockings and the like using my money that I earned by working all year, but the matter of undue credit has never been an issue for me. You see, what was important to my parents-- as will be important to me-- is that my wife and children are smiling and happy on Christmas morning. I'm not buying them toys and other gifts because I want them to love ME; I buy them gifts and presents to remind them of how much I love THEM. Sound familiar? It should...
2. Gift-giving shouldn't be the focus of Christmas, but it isn't the bane thereof either. After all, does anyone fault the wisemen of tradition who gave the baby Jesus the gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh? Think about it. Christmas is all about giving. The gifts the wisemen gave, probably the finest they had, were not out of obligation or a subset of commercialism. Heck, the presents weren't even particularly useful to the baby Jesus, especially when compared to what He would give them. The wisemen were giving to show their devotion, admiration and love for the one who would later bring them the greatest gift of all; even that of eternal life.
I imagine that a young St. Nicholas was touched by the example of those wise men, and devoted his life to giving gifts to children everywhere. In fact, I don't ever recall a Christmas story or special where Santa Claus said, "I want the children to worship me, not He for whom the holiday is named!" He knows that the Savior of all mankind already has the world and everything in it along with creations innumerable. All Santa Claus can do is follow His example, and give in a way only he can. So the same should be for all of us!
3. This one is by far the most important, and I will paraphrase the words of my sister on this one. Essentially, it is important that children learn to believe in that which they cannot see, but can find tangible evidence of its reality. For example, how do you teach a child to believe in love? Honesty? Angels? God? They can't see these things/beings, but they are as real as you or me. All they can do is believe and trust in the evidence of the existence of the aforementioned items/beings. For all my flowery wording, I think it was best stated by the Saint himself in the Miracle on 34th Street.

"I'm not just a whimsical figure who wears a charming suit and affects a jolly demeanor.... I'm a symbol. I'm a symbol of the human ability to be able to suppress the selfish and hateful tendencies that rule the major part of our lives. If you can't believe-- if you can't accept anything on faith, then you're doomed for a life dominated by doubt."

I love this quote. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be preachy... just trying to get my feelings out there. Whatever you choose to do for your family and household is entirely up to you! Regardless, I bid you all a very Merry Christmas! I will probably post something here before the big day, so stay tuned!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Heil Grammatik!

As I approach this post, I kind of feel like a first-timer at AA. I can see myself entering the room, grimacing at the truly atrocious green painted walls, and eyeing a circle of chairs populated by dejected persons such as myself. I awkwardly take a seat on a dilapidated, white chair and make sure not to make premature eye contact with anyone. Before I know it, the front door gently opens to reveal a woman, probably in her fifties, clipboard in hand. She issues a friendly greeting to us all, and the meeting begins. Each takes their turn introducing themselves and our common malady. Much too soon, it's my turn. I stand up, knees shaking gently, and bashfully say...

"My name is Kevin Neff, and I keep correcting the grammar of others."

Loyal readers and others, I am afraid I have a problem... a problem with sentences ending in prepositions. You see, recently I never realized that such was grammatically incorrect. I had heard once from a Latino professor of English that they had been taught the phrase, "Where are you from?" wasn't right. I scoffed at this. After all, I was the one who had been speaking English my entire life, not this guy! Turns out the son of a gun was right after all. Having recently discovered my folly, it seemed as though all of a sudden I could no longer end my own sentences in words like "from", "to", "for", "at", etc. Then, like a malignant cancer, it spread to the point where I found myself auto-correcting the sentences of others. It started in my head. Then I came to say it out loud. You may ask, "So what?" I'll tell you! First you start correcting your own sentences, then the sentences of others, and then.... this.
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4vf8N6GpdM

Next time I'll talk about Christmas. I promise you.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Moral Victories

Doing the right thing is hard sometimes. Let's face it. What with all our responsibilities, obligations, hobbies, personal desires and what not we often justify ourselves in not stepping up to the plate to make things right, be it with others, teachers, friends, family, etc. Maybe it's because we are so often caught up in the business of our lives that we forget to do the right thing, but maybe it's thanks to that polarity that those moments where we DO make the right (and often harder) choice that it tastes that much sweeter. Heck, sometimes when faced with a moral dilemma, we have to snatch moral victory from the jaws of defeat. For example...

Case Study One: Visiting a (in this case, sick/afflicted) friend who needs you even when you are tired, have three imminent tests of doom, and have already figured someone else will do it. Turns out that sometimes, everyone else thought "someone else will do it". And, as Bill Watterson once observed, "We're all 'someone else' to 'someone else'." Sometimes, you are the only one who not only CAN do the right thing, but the only one who WILL. Be there. Someone out there needs you.

Case Study Two: Taking a test about which you come to find you are inadequately prepared, waffling on whether or not a response is correct, and deciding to cut your losses and turn it in. Then, while walking down the stairs, you see the correct response circled on the smartest kid in the class' test out of the corner of your eye. You somehow justify that you "knew it all along" and circle it before handing it in. However, as you try to walk away, you feel something in the back of your mind and in your heart that tells you something must be done. You figure the better grade justifies the means, but you end up turning around, requesting your test back, and returning it to the state in which it was originally submitted. Not only that, but you send an e-mail to the teacher explaining your actions to have him reply, "Thank you for your honesty. That will serve you well for the rest of your life."

Case Study Three: Trusting your heart and your instincts that a plan you recommended for retirees is not the right plan for them, even if it means you will lose out on a few commissions because of it.

Case Study Four: Going home teaching and visiting a sick or otherwise afflicted friend even when you are exhausted, stressed, and overwhelmed with the minutae of life... in the same night. Sure, home teaching is a responsibility and a duty, but it's so worth it when you get a text out of nowhere from them thanking you for being the best home teachers they ever had.

I don't want to sound like I'm bragging. I just want everyone to know that doing the right thing is worth it every time. "Thank you" is often way better than money, fame, or worldly glory could ever be. I believe that in the end of things, when we are all brought to judgment, we will get not only a full picture of all the times we missed, but also a full picture of the goodness we have done and the people we have helped even beyond this life. You wanna know why? Because every one of 'em, generations, multitudes, and mortal contemporaries will be there, smiling and rejoicing in those small, seemingly insignificant moments that belied a far-reaching, eternal victory for them and you.