You Don't KNOW Me!

So let's get acquainted, shall we? Take a seat in front of your computer/phone and imagine you and I are gonna have ourselves a little conversation. A delightful conversation. A "choose-your-own-adventure" conversation. That's right, you probably checked out this blog thinking I was gonna post some relevant, topical, edgy entry talking about, like, how I'm unique and stuff. Nope! You, my friend, are going to show me just how well you know me... or how well you THINK you know me. Ready, set, GO!

Hi there, __(your name)__! Good to see ya. So, where are we going?
A. A fancy restaurant.
B. To church.
C. To the football game, yo!
D. Home... school... work... somewhere, I guess.
E.______(place)________
Sounds great! I would love to go to (previous answer). So, what are we going to do when we get there?
A. Have a fancy dinner, make googly eyes at each other, etc.
B. Work. Lots and lots of work.
C. Party like there's no tomorrow, man! Get out the Dew, bro!
D. Play video games, relax, maybe talk. We'll see.
E. ______(activity)________
We arrive at the place. Along the way, we've talked about a lot of things. You know, small talk and what not. The one topic I avoided WAS...
A. How much I want to look into your loving eyes forever.
B. My observations on life, the universe, and everything.. but not the movie. (Well, maybe the movie.)
C. You avoid topics when you talk? I swear, man...
D. Politics or sports, or.... movies?
E. _____(Topic)______
I decide that, once having arrived, I should tell you a story. It will be...
A. Romantic and fascinating.
B. Long and ramble-y, just the way you like it.
C. Mind-numbing.
D. Good, then boring, then... maybe we should just get ice cream?
E._____(Adjective)______
I begin telling the story. Suddenly, zombies. My first course of action is...
A. Take you into my strong, studly arms and say something rash like, "I'll die for you!"
B. Calmly assess the situation, find an escape/weapon, and get out of there.
C. Trip you and run for it.
D. Scream like a little girl and fall to the floor in despair. Or die. Or die screaming.
E._____(Action)_________
After devising a plan, I decide I need a weapon. Of course I choose...
A. My stunning good looks.
B. None. My brain is all I need. (And, coincidentally, it's all they want.)
C. You. As a shield. Thanks!
D. Uh, a knife? Crowbar? Cell phone? Something?
E.____(Weapon)_____
Then I realize, duh. I don't need a weapon. I have a superpower! And that super power is....
A. My power to love like no man has ever loved.
B. X-ray vision.
C. Long, boring stories.
D. Super strength, or speed, or flying, I guess.
E._____(Super Power)______
We escape somehow. As we escape the scene, I realize that this moment calls for a catch phrase! So I clear my throat and exclaim...
A. "Love conquers all!"
B. "I sure had a great time."
C. "AWWW YEAH BOYIEEEEEEE!!!"
D. "Excelsior! Avacadavra! Party!"
E.______(Catch Phrase)______

Okay, pencils down. Let's see how you did.

First and foremost, there really weren't any "right" answers to this quiz (at least not in the available choices for answers, anyway). But wait! There WERE, however, wrong answers. Let's analyze the results!

If you answered mostly "A", then holy moly I hope you're a lady. Also, I think you might have a crush on me.
If you answered mostly "B", then you think I'm kind of boring. I mean, X-ray vision? Seriously?!
If you answered mostly "C", then you clearly don't know me at all. And I'm not sure you should be reading my blog. Also, we probably shouldn't be friends.
If you answered mostly "D", then you really need to be more decisive. There's a big, bright, world out there that is yours for the taking, so get busy living or get busy dying, man!
If you answered mostly "E", then you must, by law I just made up, tell me what they were. There are prizes for most creative/correct answers!

Excelsior!

-Kevin

I Reach for the Sun

Post number 45. I never thought I'd get up to this many posts, but amazingly, I have. Interestingly, 45 happens to be my second favorite number of all time. Why, you ask?

Good question. Not sure. But it sure is great! Just like this song, which I happen to like kind of a lot right now. Yuki Kajiura and Emily Bindiger make one heck of a musical duo. It's called "I Reach for the Sun". Here are the lyrics and the video, just for YOU!

every kiss you gave me touched my heart
every word still lingers in my mind
still lights the way to go
the song I sing is all for my love

every boat is aiming for the shore
every seed is growing towards the light
my heart still knows the place to go
let all my grief show the way below

every tear could be like a rain of grace to me

I reach for the sun
and sing for the sky
wishing my heart could fly
down to where my happiness lives
up the blue hills
to reach in the heart of the rainbow

I leave this place and then I’ll get on board
leaving all sadness behind
a brighter new dawn is breaking
I reach for your soul
deep in immortal love

every heart is wounded by some love
but every soul keeps searching from above
we’ll make our way beyond the hard pouring rain
just to find love

I reach for the sun
and sing for the sky
wishing my love would hear
anywhere your lonely soul is
I’ll be with you
We’ll meet in the heart of the rainbow

stretching my hands to the songs of the earth
far to the unresolving truth
my life is a mystic dream to me
I reach for your soul
deep in immortal love

Seriously, this song gets me every time on the part after the bridge. Man, I wish I could write songs like this. Dangity dang. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Night night night, love love love.

So there's a holiday today. It's called Valentine's Day. Now, in theory, I have nothing whatsoever against this holiday. I usually get candy and such. No big deal. Anyhow, instead of complaining about how single I am (which I hear is a GREAT way to woo the ladies) or talking about how stupid/commercial this holiday is, I am going to instead attempt to write impromptu prose on the enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a conundrum submerged in an abyss of W.T.H-E-C-K that is "Love". I call it... "Love is Like".

Love is like, like is love.
Love is like birds flying above.
Love apparently flies in formations like V's,
just like swans, ducks, ganders and geese.

Love is great, love is grand.
Love is lovely when you hold a hand.
But not a severed one, for that is gross.
It's not very pleasant, no, not even close.

Love is better than ice cream and cake,
love is better than eating pie for goodness' sake.
Pie is good, pie is fab,
pie is like... hold it. Let me get back on track.

Love is good, good is love.
Love is finding a fitting glove.
Except for it's not.
It's more like...um, something. Rhyming..uh, bot.

Love is me, love is you.
Ask Frank Wildhorn; he thought so too. (True story)
Love is a song, love is a dance,
love is like some guy named Lance.

Love is like love is love
love love love love love
lovelovelovelovelovelove.
Somebody get me a Pulitzer already.

-Kevin Neff
(P.S. If you want me to tell you what I REALLY think love is, call me or ask me in person or something.)

RANDOM TIME!

Tell me this isn't the most sickeningly smarmy love song ever. Tell me.

This Beautiful, Yet Broken World

Today I come before you all to talk rather openly and honestly about something that has been on my mind for a while now, especially in light of recent events. Now, normally, Kevin L Neff and His Random Rants is a place where uplifting, quirky, and funny times are had. While my aim here with this post is to inspire hope, I hope you understand that I am going to speak quite passionately about an unpleasant topic that I have always struggled with...

When children die.

I am not talking just about sickness here. I am talking about when, due to the carelessness of others, children are killed. This happens indirectly, for example, in war-torn countries where civilian casualties are common, and directly, like a drunk/distracted driver or disturbed adult.

Please understand... I know all about the Plan of Salvation. I know that little children are granted Celestial glory if their lives are cut short. (And it's not like I am okay with adults dying, either.) Yet, for some reason, there is perhaps no other occasion when I want more to raise my fists to the sky and shout, "What the heck is the matter with this stupid world?!" than when I hear of yet another child dying. You see, I don't handle that well. I have never handled it well. Of course, I don't have children of my own, and I've never had a tragedy like this occur in my own family... but that doesn't matter.

You see, when a child's life is taken from them, you are not only hurting their loved ones. You are not only taking from them THEIR future, you are taking away everyone's future. For all you know, that child could have been the one to fix this broken, broken world. That child could have made music, or become a teacher, a worker, a friend, a parent... so much potential extinguished.

But you know, regardless of the above reasons, I guess what I hate the most about these kinds of things is that there is no easy answer. There is no instant solution, some band-aid to make it better. I don't understand what it feels like, so it's hard to know what to do to help. There's nothing you can say; nothing you can do to really help someone who is suffering the loss of a child. I don't understand it, and I don't know if I ever will in this life. Sometimes, when it's a drunk/careless driver, or a negligent/abusive parent, we immediately desire retribution; for the offender to suffer more-so than they who originally suffered the loss. Some people sue the perpetrator, as if some monetary amount is going to bring the child back to life. Some people demand the death sentence. It seems justified, after all.

However, suffering compounded with suffering does not amount to healing; it only yields more sorrow. And, for every person responsible for the death of a child, purposefully or not, there are so many more children who die without any justice at all. There is not enough justice to fix the broken world. My heart breaks for these families, friends, and mentors of these children... and I just hate not being able to do anything about it. I hate feeling so helpless.

And... in a weird way... that's the beauty of it. I am not called upon to render justice upon anyone, even if I wanted to. I am powerless to turn back the clocks and prevent these kinds of tragedies. Even if I could hear the cries of every person and see every tear shed by every living person, I am just one man. I barely have the power to reach out to those precious few close to me, much less an entire world. Even though my heart breaks, that isn't enough to help anyone heal. I have to put all of my trust, all of my hope, all of my heartache into the hands of Someone who does know EXACTLY how it feels, and how to make it right.

Sure, this world-- as it stands now-- is broken. Children die, families are torn apart, and senseless wars rage upon the face of the Earth. Who on this broken planet, with so many broken people, can really put us all back together?

Interestingly enough, no one is going to do that. No one is going to put us all back to the way things were.

You see, while I don't know everything, I do know this: He who is perfectly acquainted with the sorrows and sicknesses of all people is not interested in just putting the pieces to our lives back where they go. No, He is interested in a far greater mission... to put us together, with Him as the master carpenter, as something better than what we were before. This world will continue to break until it shatters, but will be someday rebuilt as an eternal paradise. People who break down under the weights of poverty, illness, and whatever else during this life will be rebuilt as kings and queens in the next.

Most importantly, broken families who lose these dear, dear children will be put back together... to never, ever be separated again.