Halloween!

You know, I like Halloween. I like to dress up (depending on the costume), carve Jack o Lanterns, and when I was younger, going trick-or-treating was one of the highlights of my year. Now, I haven't been trick or treating (this time without hyphens) for years now, but I am finding myself getting all the candy fix I will ever need by whatever we don't give out to the neighborhood kids.

I guess another thing I love is the traditions associated with the holiday. One thing we usually do is set up Halloween decorations while listening to a special Halloween CD, which has such great tracks such as "This is Halloween", "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes", and "The Addams Family Theme", among others. It's a great time! This year, unfortunately, I had way too dang much homework and more than three tests to study for, so I missed out on that part. We didn't even play the CD. Instead, my mom listened to The Sing Off, which is a great show, but it didn't help to get that Halloween spirit in the air. Oh well.

Another great tradition is carving Jack o Lanterns. Every year I wonder just how I am going to outdo the previous year, but somehow or another, I manage to pull it off. Some of my favorites from years past include Jack Skellington, Giroro, and this year I did one inspired by the Fire and Ghost Type Chandelure because 1) it makes a cool looking pumpkin, and 2) I am a nerd. Lay off. It's a dang cool pumpkin, though, so you gotta give it that. (Pictures to come!)

Another tradition we have is going as a family to a Haunted House/Spook Alley together. This year we went to "Strangling Brothers' Circus" which, by all accounts and, given my past post regarding my fear of clowns, should have been a HORRIBLE idea. However, I was pleasantly surprised by this Haunted House. They made some great use of confined spaces, mood setting, and excellent timing to scare me silly. So did it help me overcome my fear of clowns? Heck to the no all over pi. Was it fun? Oh yeah. Nothing brings the family closer quite like screaming like little girls together.*

For the last tradition I want to bring up for this post, we always have a family Halloween party at my grandparent's house in East Mill Creek. There is always a theme, and this year it was Disney. Now, if I had time, money, and time, I would have gone as freaking Chernabog from Fantasia. Of course, that would require me to work out like crazy, glue a mountain to my feet, and somehow attach giant black wings to myself. But MAN it would be a great costume. Instead, I borrowed a Pinocchio costume from my Aunt. That's life for ya.

So I guess what's fun about Halloween for me is just that it's the one time of year where it's okay to get scared silly, dress up like ghouls, apparitions, or colorful wooden puppets without getting weird looks. You see, I'm all about balance in life. Take some time to explore the spooky, the deep, the silly, the fun, the serene, and everything in between. A little here and a little there is what does the trick to make life a treat. Happy Halloween!

-Kevin

*Actually, there are lots of far better things that help families grow closer together.

Another Side

Another Side is my second blog I just started. As a disclaimer, if you want to continue to view me as a hilarious, happy, fun-loving kinda guy, I would recommend staying right here. However, if you want to explore a deeper and more enigmatic side of me (and admittedly less fun one at that), Another Side is the way to go. If it wouldn't rock your world to view me as both, then feel free to visit either.

Poetry Slam

Again, in honor of Halloween, I have decided to post a poem I wrote a few months ago. I figured it had enough of an "Edgar Allen Poe" flavor to it to classify it as having a Halloween Vibe, so I've decided to post it here. I know many of you have already read this, but for those who haven't, let me know what you think, everyone. Anyone. Someone?

DOLL

From across my childhood room

now seated amidst silence and gloom

up the stairs and through the dim-lit hall

sits a familiar, yet ever-pristine doll.

Where once whimsical expression's worn

now gazes decrepit, aged, and torn.

My poor heart again starts to rend

for my former companion and bosom friend

I stumble ever closer and take pause,

for on the face where a smile once was

materializes a scowl; a cruel sneer

and eying me howls, “A stranger comes here!”

Taken aback, I grasp for a single word--

but I am choked by grief-- nothing is heard.

Your eyes are lifeless, yet penetrate me

Did you ever love me?

Or did you always hate me?

Did you hate me for holding you,

when I wanted so to be held?

Did you hate me for caressing you,

when I needed my demons dispel'd?

You wear a treacherous face now,

a cruelly stitched smile hides the truth,

behind that steel gate and an iron lock

is stowed away the hurt of my youth.

I reach out to remind you of our bond,

yet I am impeded by an ever-present wall,

where behind it will forever sit,

that cruel, deceitful... yet familiar doll.

As I stepped away from my childhood room

now seated amidst silence and gloom,

I call for someone, anyone, but find myself alone

and All useless: the voice, the letters, the phone

I look over the halls in which we played

to find the carpet torn, tattered and frayed;

the damage done to the ceiling and wall--

I wonder... is this my doing, or that of the doll?

-Kevin Neff

Coulrophobia

Here in my tribute to Halloween, I have decided to do some special posts. First off, thanks for sticking with me, loyal readers! (Special shout out to my three official followers and the other... like, 3 or 4 people who read this blog! Supposedly around 30 people view it per day... to you all I say don't be shy. Say hello!) So, because I like you, you get another list from me! (My blog has a lot of lists... AND asides). I was originally going to do a post on the things I fear most... but darn it, my blog has been gloomy and doomy enough, so I'll leave out all of my rational fears (you know, like failure, rejection, coming up short, blah blah blah. Lots of people fear those same things.) and instead regale you with all of my irrational fears. (AKA the comical ones. Ya see what I mean by asides?)

NOW PRESENTING... KEVIN'S BOTTOM FIVE FEARS!!!

Number 5) Bears

Rawr. Or Yawn?

Apparently, I'm terrified of bears. Absolutely terrified. Now I know what you're (probably not) thinking, "But Kevin! You've never seen a bear in your life! For what possible reason could you possibly fear bears?" Well, I have two things to say to that. One: I HAVE seen a bear. From far away. At Yellowstone. Two: Thank you for not ending the second statement in a preposition. I put bears at 5 because I don't think I'm afraid of them in the waking world... but when I have nightmares where some dangerous beast is chasing me, it is ALWAYS a bear. Even when I dreamt (ten points for Ye Olde English) I was in Jurassic Park. No dinosaurs. Just bears.

Number 4) Very Loud Noises

Wow, that's creepier than I remember.

This one time, at Disney World, there was this ride called Countdown to Extinction. I love dinosaurs, but when the Time Travel portion happened, they accompanied it with an amazing loud screech, which frightened me so much I closed my eyes through the entire thing. So we rode it again. I love that ride now. We're pals.

Number 3) Getting on the Roof

Meanwhile, in Paris AKA Not My House

There once was a time when I thought I was invincible. Fast forward to when I was 20. I totally ruined my knee, and my delusions of invincibility went with it. And somehow in my brain that equates to staying off rooftops. Huh.

Number 2) Evil Ghost Girls Who Crawl Out of TV'S or Whatever is Topical at the Time

And that's all the movie I'll ever see.

Once upon a time, two of my older brothers were discussing the differences between the Japanese and American version of the horror movie "The Ring". The story is one hundred percent preposterous (I mean, who uses VCRs anymore?), but just imagining what the movie must have been like was enough for me to not sleep for two consecutive nights. And no, I don't plan on seeing either version of that movie for... well, ever.

Number 1) Clowns

Even this scares me.

Pro tip: If you hate me, please order a clown to come to my birthday party. Let me just start by saying I am really really really really really REALLY scared of clowns (whose phobia is clinically classified as "Coulrophobia"*). I'm not sure what it is about them. Besides EVERYTHING, I would probably emphasize some notable traits: The painted on smiles, their affinity for children, their fiendish laughter, their unnatural features... Truth be told, though, I have no idea where this fear originates. But all I know now is that I am really ridiculously afraid of clowns. Seriously. If I was walking down the street and I saw a clown coming my way, I would cross sides at all costs, even at great personal peril. I mean, LOOK AT THEM! EVIL! Nothing but unadulterated, vile, fiendish EVIL!

So now you all know. Oh yeah, I guess I forgot to mention that I am also deeply afraid of giant squids and I used to be incredibly afraid of Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty; in particular, the eyes in the fireplace scene. Shudder. Anyway, that's it from me! See ya next time!

*I have not been diagnosed with Coulrophobia. I just know what it's called. Just saying, is all.

This is Halloween!

I made some aesthetic changes to this blog. In addition, here are three clips from one of my favorite movies... The Nightmare Before Christmas!

And this one... and the other... which kind of describe how I feel lately, only without the joyous triumph over adversity part. Not yet, anyway.

Happy Halloween and go see this movie. Now.

Oh, and for clarification, the words in clip three don't describe how I feel, just the emotion behind the song.

I'm gonna be really glad when my U.S. Gov test is over with. It's making me depressed.

Sorry 'bout that!

So anywho, last time I wrote a list. Turns out it didn't go over all that well. If any women felt attacked, I sincerely apologize. Over and out.

By Wave of Information

I always love how in Sacrament Meetings and other meetings within the church we have our specific terminologies and idioms that I'm not sure we'd have otherwise. Things like "bear with me", "we thank thee for the moisture we have received" (who calls it "moisture" in regular day to day talk besides weathermen?!), "nourish and strengthen our bodies", which I'm sure sounds like gobblygook to poor primary kids trying to learn how to pray. In fact, I would venture to say that the thought process is something like, "I have no idea what nourish means, but grownups say it, so I should too." Finally, the title of my post, "By Way of Information", which is said a lot in the conducting portion of the Sacrament block. Trivia: I used to think they were saying "By Wave of Information," which conjured an image of poor high councilmen sitting in a meeting and suddenly being inundated by papers and letters from the first presidency, whose wave was ridden all the way to the pulpit where, much like the "wave" passed on by sports-goers at stadiums, the congregation would ride the next wave of information all the way to... who knows where. Maybe it just crashes up against us like rocks at the beach.

In the words of the Ninja Turtles, "Ahhh... Shell Shock!"

Last time...

Last time I left off on an enigmatic note meant to instill a sense of wonder and anticipation for the subsequent post... this being that post. Well, while there is something significant about me and my life that I have been sensing for a while, I don't feel like putting it on the internet. If you really want to know, text me or call me or something.

For now, let's continue the exploits of Kevin in the year 2011. (Rhyme. Heh.) So finally, I decided to let go of a lot of my selfishness and disdain for things like Singles' Wards and the like, and whaddaya know, my life improved quite a bit. I was becoming more and more involved, and once again we can see the Lord's hand guiding me about; putting me in places where I needed to be.

After I received my calling as Ward Activities Co-Chair in the Bluffdale ward, I was simultaneously called to participate in one of the subcommittees for the Young Single Adult Summit, as I was replacing the guy who was previously the Activities Co-Chair. Now, I don't know if that was even supposed to happen during the replacement process. However, as it turns out, it was definitely meant to be. On that committee, I found myself very passionate about singles' events and the like, and found a new sense of purpose, the likes I hadn't felt since the mission.

The Summit was worth every single second. I didn't necessarily meet any new friends or anything like that (it was more like making stronger relationships with friends I already had), but I did have a lot of fun and learn valuable lessons that still stick with me. Also, I volunteered to be the MC for the keynote address, which was a riot. I love being in front of people, and I was kinda halfway hoping that increased exposure would make it easier for me to talk to people and vice versa. I think it kinda worked... Ha ha!

The truly amazing thing here is my involvement with the Summit is something that I couldn't have made happen on my own even if I tried. The timing, the place, the people... everything was well-prepared by He who knows all. That means He gives... and He takes. See ya next time.