Sgt. Frog "Pwns"

Okay, so this has been something that has irked me for a long time. Being a fan of anime (but not an "otaku"... really I ought to say that I love animation in general), I have come into countless forums and the like and run into people who hurl insult after insult at each other, swear up a storm or are just outright rude... and it's always the same complaint:

"THE DUB VOICES ARE TERRIBLE!!! THEY FREAKIN RUINED THE SHOW I HATE THEM WE SHOULD BOMB FUNIMATION blah blah blah punctuation doesn't matter anymore)".

A case in point: Sgt. Frog. It is known as Keroro Gunso in Japan, but is anyone but a couple of nerds going to understand that "Kero" is the onomatopeia (I am so glad I spelled that right on the first try) for the sound a frog makes in Japan? Yet, because "Keroro Gunso" doesn't directly translate to "Sgt. Frog" they act like a bunch of lame know-it-alls and complain. That's not the end of it. Funimation recently released a test-episode on YouTube for the English dub version, and again, all those otaku losers screamed, whined and swore about everything they hated. I, however, laughed so hard I thought my sides would split. I thought the writing was brilliant.

I wish otakus would realize a few things. The first thing is that some jokes don't translate well if at all. For instance... a character voiced by Megumi Hayashibara in a different series says, "Sekai no hakai o fusegu tame..." from the "Rocketto-Dan no Teema" from her role as Musashi in Pokemon... er... "Pocketto Monsutaa". I'm gonna bet that maybe two people out of 100 are going to get that in Japan (extremely forgiving odds, if you ask me), and maybe 1 out of 1,000,000 Americans would EVER get that. Look at how much I have to explain in order for people to grasp the joke.

Problem one: Who the heck is Megumi Hayashibara? Contrary to popular opinion, (Popular meaning the screaming whiny otakus who infest forums) basically no one knows who that is. Nevermind that from what I understand, she is a pop star in Japan and sings a lot and has played numerous roles from various anime series... very few people on this side of the ocean-sized puddle knows who she is. Also, do they know she played Musashi in Pocketto Monsutaa? Which raises another problem... who is Musashi?

Problem two: Actually, people over here don't speak Japanese (and chances are, otakus, neither do you). I can think of two people I know who actually do speak Japanese. Both of them served missions to Japan, and that isn't TOO uncommon in the heart of LDS Utah where people go on missions all the dang time. I for one, don't speak Japanese. If she said that aforementioned bit of dialogue in Japanese, I would still be thinking "What?" And even if I had seen the Japanese version of Pokemon, I would have no idea there even was the cross-reference at all. I doubt I would recognize the joke just from that one line. Only a select few understand that Rocketto-Dan (would you prefer I wrote "Locketto-Dan?") translates to "Team Rocket." Ahhh, now Team Rocket rings a bell. Oh yeah, and "Rocketto-Dan no Teema" means either "Team Rocket Theme" or "Motto." Actually, a lot more people are going to understand "Team Rocket", otherwise, unless everyone is taught Japanese, your average Joe is just going to think "Who or what is Locket Oh-Dan?"

Problem three: Man, I hate it when I'm looking for the title of an English dub for a show or video game on imdb and I have to translate the "Reiton kyoju to fushigi na machi" to "Professor Layton and the Curious Village." Romanization isn't that bad, I think. It's when you go too far and will only accept that or the original kanji as its title... that I get really annoyed. I don't read kanji. Not many people do.

Problem four: I bet you're all wondering who or what Musashi is. From the otaku perspective, everyone should know (isn't it common knowledge, after all?) that Musashi is the Japanese name for "Jessie" of Team Rocket in the series "Pokemon". Those jerks at 4kids, how dare they change her name from her Japanese name, Musashi, which is taken from 宮本武蔵 Miyamoto Musashi, a famous Japanese swordsman to something as "dumb" as Jessie?! Come on, doesn't everyone know about Musashi and his rival Kojiro (which happens to be James' Japanese name)? Guess what, 4Kids made a good move and named them Jessie and James. Gee, that sounds familiar. Jessie... James. Jesse James! The name of a famous American outlaw! Wow, and since they're criminals (well, sort of) the joke is amazingly preserved.

Four paragraphs. That took four paragraphs to explain. I will take up the rest of this post to express my love for Sgt. Frog.

Back when I was young, I would watch Animaniacs, Tiny Toons, Pinky and The Brain, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Gargoyles, DuckTales, Darkwing Duck, the Simpsons and the like. I watched Animaniacs and Pinky and The Brain to make me laugh. I found a simple joy in how Wakko would hit all kinds of stereotypes and celebrities on the head with a mallet. I watched the Simpsons for its witty dialogue and lovable characters. I got my fix for action with TMNT and Gargoyles. Sgt. Frog combines things I love from all of those series. Yes, I realize that pop-culture references, puns, and the like abound in the English version... but amazingly, the same happens in the Japanese... the funny thing is, I actually understand the jokes and puns in English. I am not mortified that the voice actors don't sound EXACTLY like their Japanese counterparts. I realize that a lot of the jokes are not direct translations of the jokes in Japanese, and I'm okay with that.

I absolutely love that I can tell that the voice actors have so much fun in the padded room with their roles. I'm sure with some of the lines they themselves laugh. I love how Keroro is delightfully narcissistic and arrogant. I love Tamama's split personality and larger-than-life yes-man complex. I adore Giroro's warmongering one-liners about violence, death and, well, war. Kululu's evil laugh is and "support" he gives to the platoon (which ends up being more malignant than benign) is also hilarious. Dororo... well, I haven't seen enough of him, but I know he's hilarious too. The writing is brilliant, funny, witty, clever, campy, and there is always a sense of poking fun at oneself during it all. It's not trying to be the greatest series ever created. It is actually the first series that I ever bought on DVD. And let me tell you, I have NEVER done that. It's also the first series where I've wanted to write Funimation and tell them how much I loved their series and to never bow down to the whiny otakus. I just hope they don't fire their creative staff and change their dub scripts to more closely match the Japanese version. Besides, that's what the subtitled version is for... to appease the whiners. They can continue to undermine the whole industry and continue downloading illegal fansubs and pander to their nerd clubs.

In the meantime, I will be wholeheartedly supporting Funimation's English release of Sergeant Frog by buying the DVDs and even the Sergeant Frog earmuffs when they come into stores... they're cute.