Gratitude, dude!

Given that Thanksgiving is coming up in T-minus, like, 12 hours or so, you'd think I would want to write some gushy post where I list all the things I am grateful for. You know, like, rainbows, family, snow, music, and the like. Instead, I'm going to just rant about everything I HATE about everything!

Just foolin'! Gratitude is seriously the cure for what ails you. If you really want something emo, look no further than Another Side (to the right), which started out as a way for me to kind of just get out feelings about whatever, and now I find to be kind of funny. Not the content, per se... what was I talking about again? Ah yes, Thanksgiving... And now for a list of things for which I am exceedingly grateful (I promise I'll stop doing lists soon; otherwise this blog is getting renamed Kevin L Neff and His Random Lists).

First and foremost, I am grateful for my family. They are seriously the best ever. (Sorry, rest of the planet.) I am especially grateful for them now because, well, I hardly see them anymore. I mean, from around 7:00am to 7:00pm, I am either at work or school, and once I get home, I usually have homework or some other activity to take up my time until about 11:30pm. Now that I work on Saturdays, my time is even more limited. Any chance I get to see them is great!

I am grateful for the gospel in my life. A lot of people say that, but I mean it. I mean, I associate with people who don't have a sense of purpose; whose lot they feel is to wander around in life and that nothing else matters. On a related note, I am grateful for my ward. I am grateful for the friends that I have made in my ward. I know that very few of you read my blog, but just know that I am glad to have you in my life. Even if I can't accept every invitation, I still very much appreciate it. Y'all send me a text sometime, or call, or comment, or whatever, eh?

I am grateful for a heck of a lot of other things too... like my talents, my job, my education, food, shelter, clothing, a warm bed, video games, movies, nature, snow, super awesome music, my car... gosh, there's so much to be thankful for. (Whoa, Josh Groban suddenly springs to mind... Hey, wait. Shouldn't he have said "There's so much for which to be thankful"? Grammar...).

To you and yours, wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving! Go thank somebody for something today!

Good Advice

I am all about good advice sometimes. I like to get it, I like to give it, I just don't like getting it too late. Here are just a few pearls of wisdom I have picked up over my short life (mostly by personal experience). They don't apply to everybody, but they certainly have helped me!

1. Don't inhale too close to freshly opened ginger ale.
2. Running with your eyes closed is generally a super bad idea.
3. If people are staring, give them something to stare at.
4. If you get the jitters giving talks in church, just remember that statistically speaking, 33% of the congregation is awake enough to even hear you, and out of that number, only 4.3% of that population are actually paying attention.*
5. On a related note, if you have to sing a musical number in church, remember that it's not like anyone paid any money to hear you and therefore won't be demanding their money back if you mess up.
6. Don't let your life revolve around any one person, or you'll find yourself going in circles.** That's science, people.
7. A well-timed joke is generally a great way to cover up mistakes. A poorly-timed joke is often a great way to make one big mistake.
8. For crying out loud, no matter how fake the cactus looks; or if all of the other ones on the Wal-mart aisle are covered in protective plastic, DON'T TOUCH IT.***
9. Falling in love is great and all; just try not to hurt yourself on the way down.
10. Don't take yourself too darn seriously! Trust me, no one else does.
11. Few things in this life are more frustrating than having your hard work ruined by some idiot's mistake. On the other hand, few things are funnier than finding out that idiot was you.
12. That being said, life is funny sometimes.


Kevin Neff
*Yep, those statistics are made up, but seriously, folks. Look around next time you're up at the pulpit.
** Please don't point out that orbits are more often elliptical than circular. I know.
*** And if you absolutely MUST touch it, don't use your entire hand. Huge waste of a Friday night.

RANDOM!

After seeing this box art, I now know what I want to do with my life.

Autumn Colors! And Blast From the Past!

Sheesh. Fate really didn't want me to update my blog today. I realized I had neglected it for a week; realizing that my blog was still a-jammerin' away about All Hallow's Eve when that is sooooo October. This morning I figured I'd have some time, so I went to the school library. First, I typed up an assignment and sent it to my professor. Just as I sent off the paper and got ready to give my blog another seasonal face-lift, the power went out. I have been going to that school for three years, and that has NEVER happened.

Then, I decided to play some more Professor Layton and the Last Specter on my 3DS while I waited. Finally, the power came back on, but the internet worked for only a few minutes, then effectively breathed its last. Alas, it is now 11:12ish, and after getting everything else done that I have on the ol' list, I have finally gotten around to updating my blog's look. Maybe I should do some more to spruce up the place. I don't really have much to talk about. No randomness about which to rant. Hmmm.

Ah. Here we go. I found this while traipsing around my old e-mails. Remember back in the day (end of middle school for me) how you used to get those obnoxious e-mail chain letter survey things that your friends filled out? Well, I came across a few to which I responded. Some of my answers made me laugh out loud. Enjoy! (Oh, and keep in mind I was 15 to 18-ish. Righteous.)

50. HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE?: Umm.... bowling?

54. IS IT RIGHT TO FLIRT IF YOU HAVE A BF/GF?: Define Flirt. Define BF. Define GF. Define Right. Define to....oh. Ummm... I'll take "Outer Planets" for $500.

57. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU CRIED OR GOT TEARY ABOUT?: Last thing I cried? Tears.

56. WHAT'S SOMETHING ABOUT GUYS/GIRLS YOU JUST DONT

GET?: As a general rule, only guys understand guys, and only girls understand girls, but then again, maybe it isn't really fair to generalize girls and boys like that. Then again, I did say that that was a general rule, thereby contradicting my last sentence completely. Although they say that your parents understand you better than anyone, but then again, men don't understand women....what was the question again?

72. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?: Them.

82. ON THE PHONE OR IN PERSON?: I believe I'm on the computer, but thanks for asking.

83. HUGS OR KISSES?: Skittles.

89. WHAT TIME IS IT IN ALBANIA NOW?: Albania? Can you eat that?

QUESTOINS: Yes. What's a "questoin"? (This was part of another survey)

5. HAVE YOU... EATEN AN ENTIRE PIZZA BY YOURSELF?: Yeah, it was at some party somewhere where something happened sometime. I guess some things never leave you.

8. EVER LIKED SOMEONE OLDER?: For like two weeks.

11. MADE HOME MADE COOKIES?: As opposed to what? Manufacturing home made cookies?

13. LACE OR SATIN?: I'll just have water, thanks.

3. DO YOU LIKE GIRLS THAT ARE HARD TO GET OR EASY?: So easy it's HARD!

27. DO YOU LIKE TO WALK IN THE RAIN: I LOVE walking in the rain. It always is so much fun and fancy free! (Note: NOBODY says fancy free anymore. Just thought I'd inform you all of that.)

31. WHAT DO YOU DREAM ABOUT? Don't. You won't like it. 

I'm pretty awesome sometimes.