Two posts in one day? Amazing. Just amazing. I love theater. I have always enjoyed seeing plays and musicals. I love the satisfaction one gets from putting on a darn good show for a wonderful audience. The thrill of the opening night, the bittersweetness of closing, the art, the laughs, the applause... it's all so wonderful. Some people think I am good, and that I must, I don't know, "belong" on stage. That might be so. However, I have come to the conclusion that while I might belong on stage, I don't belong backstage. Here's why:
Reason 1- Don't freakin' touch me. Especially don't touch my butt. I have never been a very touchy-feely person. In fact, I hate it. I have a bubble, and you have to really earn my trust to get anywhere near it. Some people's bubbles are happy, clear, and sometimes reflect colors of the rainbow. Mine is made of acid. Additionally, I find nothing attractive whatsoever about the human butt. Minus the obvious, all it is good for is sitting on. And besides, my good mother once taught me to never touch another person where the swimsuit covers. It's just better that way.
Reason 2- My talking voice is staying where it is. It's not getting any higher, at least not if I can help it.
Reason 3- I won't tell people I don't even know I love them. Nor will I throw my hand in the air and say, "Oh my gosh, you're so cute!" Gag. Oog. Zug zug. Bleah. Unless I really want one, I don't want to be hugged, and I won't hug anyone else unless they want it.
Reason 4- I'm too grounded in reality. Plays really are just plays, and musicals are musicals. The distinct line cannot be blurred for me. I know myself too well, and I can play character after character, but once the curtain falls for the final time, it's back to me again. I mean, if I became the character I portrayed, I collectively would be a suicidal/abusive/angsty/nerdy/ruthless/romantic/wax-making/French-supporting TRAIN WRECK.
Reason 5- I'm not super keen on the have work-or-starve initiative.
Well, off to The Scarlet Pimpernel.
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