Yer a wizard, Kevin!

I am fascinated by dreams. I love having them, I love hearing the dreams of others... I just love dreams. I know I'm not alone, because there are easily scores of books and songs and poems describing dreams as places where we can go to reunite with loved ones, or live out our fantasies, or what have you. Even Daft Punk begins a song with the lyrics, "Last night, I had a dream about you. In this dream, I'm dancing right beside you and it looked like everyone was having fun... the kind of feeling I've waited so long."

Then there're my dreams. Take a few nights ago for instance.

So there we were. Idaho, for some reason. Apparently, a group of friends and I traveled up to this small home in Idaho where a mutual friend of ours lived. In our band was my brother Christopher, and I think Audrey O., of all people. (By the way, I don't control my dreams at all. Deal with it.) Turns out he or she wasn't home at the time of our visit, so we ended up leaving to go to a very Classic Skating-esque place to kill some time. So we went there, hung out for a bit, and then we were back in the house. To my horror, my car was inundated by the murkiest brown water of all time. I knew that if we wanted to leave, we would have to get my car out. Christopher came up with a brilliant (?) plan to let the water out by flooding the house just the tiniest bit. Super. Then it came time for us to leave.

Suddenly, I was driving my car and approaching the entrance to I-15 via the frontage road around 9000 South. It was very late at night (?) and as I approached the entrance, I immediately noticed a 7 to 9 headed freaking Basilisk Hydra thing blocking my entrance onto the freeway. The beast was enormous, tan-colored, and could shoot fire out of its mouth, for crying out loud. My first plan was to drive my car into it head on, no matter the consequences. However, as I got closer, I realized what a terrible idea that was turning out to be. So I drove alongside it, turned the car around, and tried my new plan. I knew this thing was trying to stop me. Suddenly I knew that all of my friends and I were about to take part in a deadly game.

My car transformed into a Batman-esque motorcycle, and suddenly I had a wand in my hand. Immediately, I knew what to do. I slammed on the gas, pointed my wand at the hydra and shouted in my best Potter voice, "Patronum!" Nothing happened. Again, I yelled, "Patronum!" and suddenly I was engulfed by an orange light.

Suddenly I appeared at a building that was a cross between a church building and the Castle of Chaos on 3300 South-ish. I walked into what looked like an Elder's Quorum room, where I saw my old friend Kolby. During the "lesson", he asked me who I was dating. The only name that came to mind was the name of his wife, but I wouldn't say it because I wasn't actually dating her. Suddenly, a name came to my mind of someone else (who, by the way, I'm not dating in real life either), but I would not tell him. The class ended, and I knew I'd passed the second test.

I was standing in a line of people, waiting to see what the game had in store for us next. I saw Audrey was in the group of people, and was like, "How did she survive the hydra?" But I guess I figured she had some magic powers of which I wasn't aware. Good for her! Anyhow, I noticed up some stairs a shadowy figure who looked like a cross of the brain people from John Carter and Uncle Fester from the Addams Family. Suddenly I knew he was the one behind this, and a vision of the future cropped up in my mind. We were about to enter an auditorium, and they were going to quiz the audience... should they get the answer wrong, they were going to be destroyed by a laser, or fireball... can't remember which.

So I spotted where some friends of mine were sitting, (the only one I can remember for sure is Nicole W.) I went to sit with them, fully aware of the danger that was presented to us. My family was seated on the row behind us, and I prepared to stop this game once and for all. I was the chosen one, man.

And then I woke up. Have fun with that, Inception team!

And the winner is....

So last week I posted a little quiz for everyone   my followers   my friends anyone who reads my blog ever. I claimed in the last sentences that there would be prizes for most creative answers. Turns out the winner was...

ME! I guess nobody wants these free Olive Garden Gift Cards. Talk about living beneath your privileges.

If you'll excuse me, pasta waits for no man. But man does, in fact, wait for pasta.

Hasta la pasta!