4.9%

104.9%. That’s my current grade in my Sociology of Rock and Roll class. You’re probably imagining now that I am some kind of wunderkind at Rock and Roll analysis. I assure you that I am not, actually (awesome as "Rock and Roll Wunderkind" would probably look on a resume). As a matter of fact, I’m not sure I’m any more proficient when it comes to Rock and Roll knowledge than I was when I began the semester. While I have certainly learned a lot about different artists and their works, I guess you could say that the extra 4.9% represents the most important thing that I got out of this class.

Which was, surprisingly, a lot about what true love is. It wasn’t anything “new”, per se, but it was certainly a good reminder and reinforcement of what I already believe to be true about just what love is, and what it is not. So here’re some songs that taught me these lessons. (And yes, I'm aware that none of these songs are technically Rock and Roll. We covered a lot of ground in this class.)

Lesson 1) Love is a real thing that happens to ordinary people.

Take a step back (or if you're sitting, look up, or take your hands off the mouse or something). If you are reading this blog, it most likely means that (with a few exceptions) two ordinary people fell in love, got married, and had you. My parents aren’t rock stars, celebrities, wealthy businesspeople, or anything of the sort. My dad is a Technical Writer at a hospital, and my mom is a Head Secretary at a local elementary school. At some point in their lives, they met, fell in love, and nearly 30 years later here I am. There was no press coverage on my mom’s choice of shoes or my dad’s car on their wedding day. No magazine covers, no news reports, no book adaptations… nothing of the sort. Even though I believe they have been phenomenal successes at being parents, there is no denying that when they started out, they were just ordinary people who didn’t know where to go. They pushed through mistakes and misunderstandings and a heck of a lot of self-sacrifice to give me the life I have today. And, as a new curtain rises on my life, I am appreciating that more and more every day.

Lesson 2) While love may happen to all kinds of ordinary folks all over the world, when it is real, it's nothing short of miraculous.

 I chose this song to demonstrate that there even these guys, who normally sing songs I wouldn't be caught dead listening to have people they love and people who love them... and I don't mean their legions of adoring fans. I mean their brothers, close friends, mothers, fathers... the people who really matter; people who would miss them terribly if they were gone. You can feel that love. It's a powerful thing.

Lesson 3) “It’s better to eat soup with someone you love than steak with someone you hate.”

That’s a direct quote from my teacher, who normally has a mouth like a sailor. She’s a firebrand of a feisty Latina, so it isn’t all that surprising that she is pretty darn direct when she has to be. Sure, a lot of these artists wrote about the plastic, phony, fabricated love that infests movies, TV, "romance" novels, and what have you. Heck, some of them lived it. Others, however, managed to touch on real love, which isn't about glitzy media bonanzas, fancy hotels, elaborate garden parties, or anything like that. To paraphrase my teacher, "After a while, you learn that that [stuff] don't matter." Even though this song might have been overplayed when it first came out (I'm guessing, I would have been on the mission at the peak of its popularity), Alicia Keys nailed it. It's nice to be reminded that having someone around who loves you will always be better than any material thing. 

I could go on for days... but this post is long enough. Phony, short-lived Hollywood romance versus real everyday love is basically going from "She loves you yeah yeah yeah" to something like the next clip. (Please, for the love of the internet don't go juxtaposing Beatles lyrics with Metallica's just because I did this one time). I just wanted to emphasize their sentiments of closeness, of being yourself, trust, etc. While it isn't entirely true that "Nothing Else Matters" (because OH IT DOES), I do believe that once you've found someone you love; someone you've dedicated your life to caring about, providing for, and protecting, a heck of a lot of other stuff just becomes less important after awhile. 

And I don't even LIKE Metallica all that much.

-Kevin Neff

P.S. Look forward to my next post, which will be the start of my new segment "Game Changers", where I pick something from either a movie, a book, a show, or a game and talk about the amazing things I've gained from them. Don't miss it!

Poetry Slam Part II

Here's another poem that I wrote. I've actually been working on this one for a month or so now. While it doesn't currently reflect my life circumstances, it still talks about a lot of things that I think about more often than I realize. Anyhow, without further hubbub, here is my poem. I call it: "An Old Friend".

As I walked along the old and lonely path,

for a stretch of time I can’t seem to measure,

in front of my eyes I beheld a creature, monstrous and black,

which at first glance filled my soul with deep displeasure.

Its head slowly reared up as its gaze met mine.

Firmly, yet haltingly it spoke, “Will you walk with me?”

Taken aback, I considered the proposition, and--

after a bit-- replied, “I cannot. I have much farther to go, you see.”

Again the creature sighed and --baring its fangs—

seemed to plead once again, “I know the way. Take my hand.”

As it reached out its paw, with claws outstretched;

suddenly I knew there was something I needed to understand.

I accepted its request, and we began our climb

as running waters reflected scenes of memories.

It seemed I saw the faces of loved ones long past,

both there and in my companion’s eyes, black as emery’s.

Along our journey we did meet a woman and her child,

who stopped cold at the sight of my companion, the beast.

She took the young one into her arms and fled,

unable, it seemed, to bear the sight of him in the least.

“Why did they run off so quickly?” I wondered.

As the creature and I continued; travelers passing us by.

The sun rose, the sun set, we crossed crag and ravine,

yet out of all that we met, none dared to meet its eye.

Once, after a long, difficult day on the trail,

the monster and I stopped to rest in a clearing,

the wind blew through the trees, and I was surprised--

was that music and children’s laughter that I was hearing?

Suddenly the wind blew chill, roaring loud,

as it threatened to topple a nearby tree,

I cried out for help, and when I awoke,

I found no harm had been done; the creature sheltered me.

In a time that now seems all too short,

my fellow traveler stopped along the way.

I turned and asked, “Is something the matter?”

To which the creature replied, “Please hear what I will say.” 

“I have walked this path many times before,”

Said he, as his fearful mane melted from view,

“I have shown you the way, and here we part,

so I can accompany other travelers like you.”

“Must you go so soon?” I cried,

unable, somehow, to fight the tears.

Realizing finally with whom I’d walked,

He who once was the whole of my fears.

“Many will not walk with me, or bear my company.”

Some will build entire cities—lives--just to escape me.

But if they will just walk with me for a moment,

I can teach them that life doesn’t have to begin and end in misery.

As the gates finally opened ahead, light pouring in,

I watched my companion disappear around the bend.

While most people feared him and others fled,

I, I was able to bid farewell to Sorrow not as my enemy…

… but as a friend.

Yer a wizard, Kevin!

I am fascinated by dreams. I love having them, I love hearing the dreams of others... I just love dreams. I know I'm not alone, because there are easily scores of books and songs and poems describing dreams as places where we can go to reunite with loved ones, or live out our fantasies, or what have you. Even Daft Punk begins a song with the lyrics, "Last night, I had a dream about you. In this dream, I'm dancing right beside you and it looked like everyone was having fun... the kind of feeling I've waited so long."

Then there're my dreams. Take a few nights ago for instance.

So there we were. Idaho, for some reason. Apparently, a group of friends and I traveled up to this small home in Idaho where a mutual friend of ours lived. In our band was my brother Christopher, and I think Audrey O., of all people. (By the way, I don't control my dreams at all. Deal with it.) Turns out he or she wasn't home at the time of our visit, so we ended up leaving to go to a very Classic Skating-esque place to kill some time. So we went there, hung out for a bit, and then we were back in the house. To my horror, my car was inundated by the murkiest brown water of all time. I knew that if we wanted to leave, we would have to get my car out. Christopher came up with a brilliant (?) plan to let the water out by flooding the house just the tiniest bit. Super. Then it came time for us to leave.

Suddenly, I was driving my car and approaching the entrance to I-15 via the frontage road around 9000 South. It was very late at night (?) and as I approached the entrance, I immediately noticed a 7 to 9 headed freaking Basilisk Hydra thing blocking my entrance onto the freeway. The beast was enormous, tan-colored, and could shoot fire out of its mouth, for crying out loud. My first plan was to drive my car into it head on, no matter the consequences. However, as I got closer, I realized what a terrible idea that was turning out to be. So I drove alongside it, turned the car around, and tried my new plan. I knew this thing was trying to stop me. Suddenly I knew that all of my friends and I were about to take part in a deadly game.

My car transformed into a Batman-esque motorcycle, and suddenly I had a wand in my hand. Immediately, I knew what to do. I slammed on the gas, pointed my wand at the hydra and shouted in my best Potter voice, "Patronum!" Nothing happened. Again, I yelled, "Patronum!" and suddenly I was engulfed by an orange light.

Suddenly I appeared at a building that was a cross between a church building and the Castle of Chaos on 3300 South-ish. I walked into what looked like an Elder's Quorum room, where I saw my old friend Kolby. During the "lesson", he asked me who I was dating. The only name that came to mind was the name of his wife, but I wouldn't say it because I wasn't actually dating her. Suddenly, a name came to my mind of someone else (who, by the way, I'm not dating in real life either), but I would not tell him. The class ended, and I knew I'd passed the second test.

I was standing in a line of people, waiting to see what the game had in store for us next. I saw Audrey was in the group of people, and was like, "How did she survive the hydra?" But I guess I figured she had some magic powers of which I wasn't aware. Good for her! Anyhow, I noticed up some stairs a shadowy figure who looked like a cross of the brain people from John Carter and Uncle Fester from the Addams Family. Suddenly I knew he was the one behind this, and a vision of the future cropped up in my mind. We were about to enter an auditorium, and they were going to quiz the audience... should they get the answer wrong, they were going to be destroyed by a laser, or fireball... can't remember which.

So I spotted where some friends of mine were sitting, (the only one I can remember for sure is Nicole W.) I went to sit with them, fully aware of the danger that was presented to us. My family was seated on the row behind us, and I prepared to stop this game once and for all. I was the chosen one, man.

And then I woke up. Have fun with that, Inception team!

And the winner is....

So last week I posted a little quiz for everyone   my followers   my friends anyone who reads my blog ever. I claimed in the last sentences that there would be prizes for most creative answers. Turns out the winner was...

ME! I guess nobody wants these free Olive Garden Gift Cards. Talk about living beneath your privileges.

If you'll excuse me, pasta waits for no man. But man does, in fact, wait for pasta.

Hasta la pasta!

You Don't KNOW Me!

So let's get acquainted, shall we? Take a seat in front of your computer/phone and imagine you and I are gonna have ourselves a little conversation. A delightful conversation. A "choose-your-own-adventure" conversation. That's right, you probably checked out this blog thinking I was gonna post some relevant, topical, edgy entry talking about, like, how I'm unique and stuff. Nope! You, my friend, are going to show me just how well you know me... or how well you THINK you know me. Ready, set, GO!

Hi there, __(your name)__! Good to see ya. So, where are we going?
A. A fancy restaurant.
B. To church.
C. To the football game, yo!
D. Home... school... work... somewhere, I guess.
E.______(place)________
Sounds great! I would love to go to (previous answer). So, what are we going to do when we get there?
A. Have a fancy dinner, make googly eyes at each other, etc.
B. Work. Lots and lots of work.
C. Party like there's no tomorrow, man! Get out the Dew, bro!
D. Play video games, relax, maybe talk. We'll see.
E. ______(activity)________
We arrive at the place. Along the way, we've talked about a lot of things. You know, small talk and what not. The one topic I avoided WAS...
A. How much I want to look into your loving eyes forever.
B. My observations on life, the universe, and everything.. but not the movie. (Well, maybe the movie.)
C. You avoid topics when you talk? I swear, man...
D. Politics or sports, or.... movies?
E. _____(Topic)______
I decide that, once having arrived, I should tell you a story. It will be...
A. Romantic and fascinating.
B. Long and ramble-y, just the way you like it.
C. Mind-numbing.
D. Good, then boring, then... maybe we should just get ice cream?
E._____(Adjective)______
I begin telling the story. Suddenly, zombies. My first course of action is...
A. Take you into my strong, studly arms and say something rash like, "I'll die for you!"
B. Calmly assess the situation, find an escape/weapon, and get out of there.
C. Trip you and run for it.
D. Scream like a little girl and fall to the floor in despair. Or die. Or die screaming.
E._____(Action)_________
After devising a plan, I decide I need a weapon. Of course I choose...
A. My stunning good looks.
B. None. My brain is all I need. (And, coincidentally, it's all they want.)
C. You. As a shield. Thanks!
D. Uh, a knife? Crowbar? Cell phone? Something?
E.____(Weapon)_____
Then I realize, duh. I don't need a weapon. I have a superpower! And that super power is....
A. My power to love like no man has ever loved.
B. X-ray vision.
C. Long, boring stories.
D. Super strength, or speed, or flying, I guess.
E._____(Super Power)______
We escape somehow. As we escape the scene, I realize that this moment calls for a catch phrase! So I clear my throat and exclaim...
A. "Love conquers all!"
B. "I sure had a great time."
C. "AWWW YEAH BOYIEEEEEEE!!!"
D. "Excelsior! Avacadavra! Party!"
E.______(Catch Phrase)______

Okay, pencils down. Let's see how you did.

First and foremost, there really weren't any "right" answers to this quiz (at least not in the available choices for answers, anyway). But wait! There WERE, however, wrong answers. Let's analyze the results!

If you answered mostly "A", then holy moly I hope you're a lady. Also, I think you might have a crush on me.
If you answered mostly "B", then you think I'm kind of boring. I mean, X-ray vision? Seriously?!
If you answered mostly "C", then you clearly don't know me at all. And I'm not sure you should be reading my blog. Also, we probably shouldn't be friends.
If you answered mostly "D", then you really need to be more decisive. There's a big, bright, world out there that is yours for the taking, so get busy living or get busy dying, man!
If you answered mostly "E", then you must, by law I just made up, tell me what they were. There are prizes for most creative/correct answers!

Excelsior!

-Kevin

I Reach for the Sun

Post number 45. I never thought I'd get up to this many posts, but amazingly, I have. Interestingly, 45 happens to be my second favorite number of all time. Why, you ask?

Good question. Not sure. But it sure is great! Just like this song, which I happen to like kind of a lot right now. Yuki Kajiura and Emily Bindiger make one heck of a musical duo. It's called "I Reach for the Sun". Here are the lyrics and the video, just for YOU!

every kiss you gave me touched my heart
every word still lingers in my mind
still lights the way to go
the song I sing is all for my love

every boat is aiming for the shore
every seed is growing towards the light
my heart still knows the place to go
let all my grief show the way below

every tear could be like a rain of grace to me

I reach for the sun
and sing for the sky
wishing my heart could fly
down to where my happiness lives
up the blue hills
to reach in the heart of the rainbow

I leave this place and then I’ll get on board
leaving all sadness behind
a brighter new dawn is breaking
I reach for your soul
deep in immortal love

every heart is wounded by some love
but every soul keeps searching from above
we’ll make our way beyond the hard pouring rain
just to find love

I reach for the sun
and sing for the sky
wishing my love would hear
anywhere your lonely soul is
I’ll be with you
We’ll meet in the heart of the rainbow

stretching my hands to the songs of the earth
far to the unresolving truth
my life is a mystic dream to me
I reach for your soul
deep in immortal love

Seriously, this song gets me every time on the part after the bridge. Man, I wish I could write songs like this. Dangity dang. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Night night night, love love love.

So there's a holiday today. It's called Valentine's Day. Now, in theory, I have nothing whatsoever against this holiday. I usually get candy and such. No big deal. Anyhow, instead of complaining about how single I am (which I hear is a GREAT way to woo the ladies) or talking about how stupid/commercial this holiday is, I am going to instead attempt to write impromptu prose on the enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a conundrum submerged in an abyss of W.T.H-E-C-K that is "Love". I call it... "Love is Like".

Love is like, like is love.
Love is like birds flying above.
Love apparently flies in formations like V's,
just like swans, ducks, ganders and geese.

Love is great, love is grand.
Love is lovely when you hold a hand.
But not a severed one, for that is gross.
It's not very pleasant, no, not even close.

Love is better than ice cream and cake,
love is better than eating pie for goodness' sake.
Pie is good, pie is fab,
pie is like... hold it. Let me get back on track.

Love is good, good is love.
Love is finding a fitting glove.
Except for it's not.
It's more like...um, something. Rhyming..uh, bot.

Love is me, love is you.
Ask Frank Wildhorn; he thought so too. (True story)
Love is a song, love is a dance,
love is like some guy named Lance.

Love is like love is love
love love love love love
lovelovelovelovelovelove.
Somebody get me a Pulitzer already.

-Kevin Neff
(P.S. If you want me to tell you what I REALLY think love is, call me or ask me in person or something.)

RANDOM TIME!

Tell me this isn't the most sickeningly smarmy love song ever. Tell me.